By Lisa Rose
Almost a year ago, 11-year-old Demetrius Martin’s mom and stepfather came into his room and told him the unthinkable: while he was sleeping his father had been shot.
“I didn't believe my mom or my step dad when they told me,” Demetrius said. “Then when my mom started to cry, I started to believe them. I was so, so, so sad. I was angry too. I was mad at the person that had killed my dad.”
Demetrius’ family helped him through the healing process, but they knew he would need more than just family support in order to get through his pain. His mother and stepfather sent him to grief counseling.
“I am glad that they did. My counselor, Ms. Kearney, is the best counselor in the world. She helped me learn to process my grief and learn to heal,” he said.
During counseling, Demetrius began journaling and thought that the lessons he learned could help other children cope with losing a loved one. His mother, Erica Jones, is the publisher of Second Time Media. Together—with the help of illustrator, Eric Nyamor—they produced “I Really Miss My Dad.” The process of publishing this book also helped Demetrius heal.
“I have learned that helping others helps me,” he said. “I also know that there are a lot of kids who have lost a loved one like me and that is sad. I want those kids to know that even though it hurts right now, it will get better. It is okay to cry.”
Demetrius is using his father’s tragedy to speak out against murder, not only to victims, but also to the individuals who commit violent acts. Currently, he’s working with non-violence groups in his hometown of Detroit, MI, such as Detroit 300, It Takes a Village ya'll, and Detroit Coalition Against Violence.
“I want the bad people to know that their violence doesn't end with the victim; it touches others like their children and family,” Demetrius said. “People have to think before they act. I want to make a change.”
He added, “I know that Father’s Day is coming and I want everyone to treat their fathers really good on that day and every day because one day he might not be here.”
Demetrius was recently recognized by the Urban League of Detroit and Southeastern Michigan with the prestigious “Do The Right Thing” Leadership Award and by the Detroit City Council with the “Spirit of Detroit” Award.
Demetrius is working on another book A Day in Heaven, in which he describes as a book: “about a dream I had where God gave me one more day to be with my dad in heaven.”
"I Really Miss My Dad" can be found at www.secondtimemedia.com.
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